People are often uncertain about how long should sex last? Well, sex is always about the journey and not the destination! It is a pure relation and combination of love, passion and intimacy. I feel it is a process where two souls truly merge together to become a single compound of love. Yet a lot of people have gone further deep and started to conceptualize and have also modernized the term sex. Many of us have started thinking and creating problems for ourselves which at times lower a person’s self-confidence from making love. From many such misconceptions, one is about lasting longer during sex.
How can one last longer during sex?
I often come across men who stress on their own capabilities and hence run away from the word sex. Some of them fear sex to the extent of facing embarrassment and unacceptance. Their main topic of concern is, how to last longer during sex and how long should sex last. Don’t worry you’re not the only one here to ask such a question there are many others as well. Men often feel that if they don’t last longer in bed, their woman will remain unsatisfied. But this is not the case, everything that starts well, ends well. The only difference is some may reach the destination soon whereas some may not. But the actual fun lies in the journey.
According to research, studies show that average sex lasts only for approximate 10 to 11 mins only. This is including foreplay and afterglow. Without these, the intercourse process may just last for 6 mins. Most men ejaculate after 3-5 mins. While women need 15 – 40 mins to orgasm. Often men come to me for an overnight cure and that is simply unrealistic. But according to tantra and the power of our energy mechanism, there are a few ways that can help you stimulate your energy and boost you to last a little longer in bed.
In order to last long enough till your partner is sexually satisfied you can use some of these techniques like start and stop technique, the squeeze method, strategic foreplay and controlled masturbation. These methods might have been proven effective over the years to help men to prevent premature ejaculation, they are only superficial. They do not help in amplifying the man’s sexual pleasures and nor do they boost the man’s sexual performance.
According to Tantra, the meditative system is the best way to last longer during sex as it tries to help a man achieve holistic health and peace. I often observe men who use the above techniques to delay ejaculation, other than those meditative techniques will minutely focus on enhancing the connection between your body, soul and mind and thus will help you to come in terms with your sexuality. These techniques help a man to have better control over his sexual drive while also enabling him to increase his sense of pleasure. In the end, this method helps men to delay ejaculation and thus last longer in bed.
The Taoist tantra includes methods from the Chinese erotic texts, such as Secrets of the Jade Chamber which is written over 2,000 years ago. It says that daily exercises done by men can increase their sexual powers with sexual sensations and orgasm. “Deer” a technique that helps in cultivating sexual energy and helps make a man’s penis strong and powerful. The exercises under ‘Deer’ can also be done as an alternative to masturbating. It not only gives a quick pleasure of ejaculation but also spreads a tingling feeling throughout the man’s body. It enhances his sexual vitality and increases his enjoyment and chance of having a whole-body orgasm during sex.
For men- Practice the deer exercise naked while sitting or lying in a warm and comfortable room. Begin with rubbing your hands together and placing them over your penis for a minute just to relax your body. After you are relaxed, cup your testicles with your right hand and rest the thumb on the base of your penis. Close your eyes and savour the gentle warmth and pressure from your hand to your genitals.
For women- Put your left hand on your pubic area, just below your belly button, and rub your hand in 81 clockwise circles. Concentrate on the warmth and sensual feelings building up beneath your hand. Now use your right hand to rub your pubic area in 81 counter-clockwise circles and you will find the warmth growing and spreading. Lastly, rest your hands on your lap and contract the muscles of your perineum (between your scrotum and anus). You can hold the contraction until you feel comfortable. Enjoy the beautiful tingling feeling which will gradually move up your body.
Another Method is the Jade stalk strengthening method originated in China. It is focused more on a penile version of weightlifting by tying two small weights to either end of a rope and then draping it over the base of his erect “jade stalk” which is the penis. You can then lift the weights 20 to 50 times each day to strengthen your penile muscles.
Lasting longer in bed, includes methods which can reduce the level of a man’s arousal. While tantra teaches us the mantra to embrace every aspect of our sexuality and our sexual pleasures. People often ask me question on how to last longer during sex and ifa numbing cream or thick condoms are useful? In my opinion I feel, numbing creams and thicker condoms are just a mirage that exist only to reduce the man’s response to stimulation. Tantra makes sure this does not happen and hence we conduct special training and massages for men and women both. To dive deep and know more about it you can click on the link below
Further as we move on from lasting longer in bed to how long does sex lasts, one question that still remains in our mind is how does one increase sex drive?
A low sex drive in men is a sign of low testosterone, it is often related to stress, lack of sleep, over drinking, depression etc. According to studies, 50%– 60% men experience sexual dysfunction once in their lifestyle. The male libido when low, indicates lower sex drive in men. The testosterone is the male sex hormone that does its job of increasing the male libido. The male sex drive helps men to turn on before indulging in sex. This issue is not only prevalent in males but even infemales. I often come across couples who are worried about their low sex drive, and ask for methods to increase it in order to have better sex. My reply to all these questions is that, due to age and midlife crisis couples often feel the low sex drive building up in them. But to keep the blood and love steaming for each other through various tantric rituals is what we all should work on. A ritual can be a way to relax, connect with your spouse, and build anticipation. Moreover, it has to be enjoyable.
For better sex drive, building a connection with your partner is really important just like breathing and meditating together, bathing together or simply looking into each other’s eyes. These petty little things can help build intimacy and can be considered as a good method of foreplay. These techniques can send your libido skyrocketing, even when you think you are not in the mood.
Afterall, maintaining a good relationship comprises of trust, communication, fun and of course an exciting sex life. But are you one of those many men who fear to have sex just because you think you can’t last longer in bed? If yes, I hope reading this blog has helped you change your perspective and hasalso given you a certain understanding on how to have better sex.