The most frequent question asked to me by newly married as well as couples who’ve been married for a long period of time is that, “How often do most couples have sex?”.The answer to this is whenever and wherever you feel, you do it! There is no fixed and derived number of times married couples have sex to maintain a healthy relationship.
Most people often ask me, how often do married couples have sex? To this I always answer that sex is nothing but the physical showcasing of love. It is essential to be physically as well as mentally close to the person whom you love. The number of sexual encounters required to maintain a steady relationship varies. I have met couples who have sex very often but are at constant loggerheads with each other on petty issues. And I have also met couples who are going strong but do not have sex very often. The main focal point here is not the number of times you have sex, but the quality of sex and the love shared between two souls.
When couples are going through a rough patch, I often advise them to first calm their inner impulses through meditation and yoga or even through personal counselling with me, and then start anew with their sex life. Couples should not only have sex; but they need to feel the love, feel the warmth, feel the closeness of each other and then unite as one.
I personally recommend that each couple should come to a point where having sex, is a joyful experience and not just for the sake of it. The intensity and the passion of making love should be such, that it doesn’t matter whether you indulge in it once a month, once a week or every day. But I would recommend indulgingin the act atleast once a week. Anything more with the correct approach is always more than welcome!
While most animals, mate just to reproduce. Humans have many more reasons to do so. One of the most important and sole purpose being, enjoyment. There are some other species too, who indulge in sexual activities just for pleasure. That’s nature at it’s best.
What is anal sex?
Sex can be different types, mainly Vaginal; wherein there is the vaginal penetration, oral; wherein the mouth of both the partners are used to satisfy each other in different ways, and anal; wherein there is the anus/butthole penetration.Many people, religions, consider Anal penetration as unnatural. But I cannot grasp with this terminology, there is nothing unnatural in it. Anal sex is usually the only penetrative option for same-sex men partners. But for different sex partners, it is an additional option.
Anal sex is considered a taboo predominantly because of the bias against same-sex couples. It is only recently that people have started enjoying it just like vaginal sex. Researches have even showed that the Male g-spot, which up until recently was said to be non-existent, is present near the rectum. And the rectum is only accessible through the anus.
So,in different sex relationships, it is just not the male penetration into the female anal area which gives pleasure, penetration in the male anal area, artificially or through fingering is also very pleasurable. But there is one small problem, while the vaginal opening is slightly elastic in nature, i.e. it tends to expand if a penetration is done. Anus, on the other hand doesn’t really expand in such a manner. So,in the initial phases, it is highly recommended to use ample of lubrication, in order to have a smooth pleasurable sex.Just in case you were wondering, this is how anal sex feels like.This frightens many women and they are apprehensive about anal sex. Also, our body is quite adaptive, it tends to change in a way that benefits us, so after frequent encounters, the anal opening appears to be smooth in many cases.
I read somewhere, that a person claimed that her constipation was cured due to anal sex, as it expanded her anal opening! That’s ridiculous in its true sense. Constipation is related to your digestive system and not your anus. I shared the above anecdote solely with the purpose to make you understand, that your sources should be reliable. I and my team at tantra have had immense experiences and from them, I try to resolve your questions and doubts.
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The most important benefit of Anal sex is that there is absolutely no threat of an unwanted pregnancy. While wearing a condom is often recommended, but going in without one doesn’t create any chance of an unwanted pregnancy. Anal sex feels almost similar to vaginal sex, infact sometimes even more pleasurable. Many couples who want to enjoy sex without any protection or medications often indulge in anal sex.
So, if you feel that it is unnatural to have anal sex, you are wrong. No part of your body is unnatural and nor is sex. It is up to an individual what he or she wants, what satisfies him/her, and what their partner expects from them. I strongly believe in this Tantra.
And as far as how anal sex feels is concerned, like all types of sexual practices, this too depends on person to person and varies according to the techniques and methods used. But certain, bullets to remember are:
- Use ample of lubrication
- Select a position which is comfortable for both the partners as sex should always be comfortable. A wrong position can lead to extra pressure put on the partner’s body and affect adversely.
- Usage of a condom is recommended.
So, the bottom line is Anal Sex like all types of sex, is highly pleasurable. I would recommend you, to have a discussion with your partner and step down the road which is less travelled! So, try new things, venture into your desires, work hard to give pleasure to your partner. Translate your psychology love into a physical love and feel your soul rejuvenate. Tantra believes in the true value of nature, which is nothing but love.