“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along” ~Rumi
To people asking me, how often should couples have sex? If we love someone we usually express it in many different ways; sexual intimacy is one way towards love. As Rumi states that lovers are always into each other they do not need a specific time and place to meet. Similarly, sex is an intercourse of feelings and emotions.
Decades have passed and true love is the only thing that has managed to exist through all the odds in this world. Still it is hard to believe, that even in the 21st century the word ‘sex’ is softly whispered in somebody’s ears. It still holds a position of a things that is usually done in closed rooms,behind closed doors. But Tantra goes against this law and makes us believe that having sex is an unconditional and most essential part of us, human beings.
During my training and coaching sessions,there are many couples who come to me and ask me about how many times should they have sex?
Interestingly, there is no particular answer to this question. It is completely subjective depending on couple to couple. I believe that sex is certainly about creating a connection between two prolonged souls that deserve mutual satisfaction, enhanced with love and positivity. Sex should be the reason to eliminate all the negativity and pain from your life.
Couples should treat sex as a therapy to get away from the materialistic world. Couples that enjoy sex together enjoy the pleasure of it minutely as well. Yes, there might be hardships and obstacles sometimes which could limit the number of times you have sex. For example,a girl once came to me and said, ‘My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now, I don’t think he enjoys having sex with me any more’. Many couples often ask me ways to keep the spark in their relationship alive and if they should increase the number of times, they should have sex, etc. It really makes my heart wreck when I hear people dealing with such issues. Everywhere I go, I see people looking out for only one thing and i.e. how to find or develop a fulfilling relationship.
The mantra to this problem is meditation. Meditation is for the calmness of your mind, and the mind is one of the most important factors that affects the sexual life of a couple. Tantra is the way to your mind. It is an essential practice for harnessing the equality of women and embraced sexuality as an additional path to enlightenment. Tantra recognizes the importance of a romantic relationship in growth and healing, and both have rich and complimentary tools for empowering intimacy and awakening passion. Both of these practices tell us that to have good sex, good communication is very important.
If you manage to achieve this with your partner and if you are able to get on the same page as that of your partner then you are sure to enjoy some good sex. Because at the end what is important is, not the number of times you have sex but the intensityof the love that is shared between the couple to experience oneness. If you think that your relationship is facing some issues and you are not able to spend quality time with your partner you can speak to us and experience our personal coaching which aims to delve deeper into specific issues and provide personalized guidance. Meditation and yoga will also help you come closer to each other’s soul and will boost up your sex life.
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There is no harm in having sex from once a week to once a month. After all, a couple’s sex life is affected by so many different factors like age, lifestyle, partner’s health and libido and ofcourse this affects the quality of their overall relationship. As time passes both men and women start experiencing changes in themselves. For men it is the testosterone that goes down which can reduce the ability of a man to have satisfying sex.
Hence a major question in women arises that, how to arouse a man with low testosterone?Though testosterone is not the only fuel for a man’s sex life it still has adverse effects like low sex drive and erectile dysfunction. For women, this might be quite of a challenge because arousing a man with low testosterone could be difficult. But as I always say, Tantra has the solution to each and everything on this planet.A man with low testosterone might be difficult to arouse but not impossible. All you have to do is be yourself, show your love for your partner truly without faking anything. Men are easy to be turned on through simple yet effective techniques like foreplay that includes spending quality time in touching, kissing, performing oral etc.
For better results, I personally recommend spending quality time outside your bedroom. Enjoying small activities together like meditation, yoga can help gain positive energy in your relationship. Your partner might be in stress with respect to the problem he is facing because men are always socialized into thinking that they have to be inherently good at everything they do, and thus the thought of not being able to satisfy their partner may even pull them into depression. Hence, at this point it is you who needs to understand them. Only you can make him feel good about himself. Your sweet gesture towards him and immense love showcased through caring or for that matter even romanticizing him in return of nothing else can turn him on.
When I first started my journey towards Tantra, I received a lot of questions from women as they were clueless about these problems. Men themselves were feeling helpless because of their low sex drive due to low testosterone. And as I mentioned earlier that Tantra has the solution to everything, I came up with the idea of Tantra healing for men. Here, they learn to explore their full potential with spiritual growth through sensual tantric massages, which not only helps them to be a better person but also a better lover. The lingam healing massage is also focused on clearing energy, blockages and promoting healing.
So, if you are still wondering on ways to arouse a man, these massages may help your partner and you in experiencing high level of sexual pleasures. Our Tantra for men, also creates a safe environment for men to come together to bond with each other and support each other in their difficult times. Finding your brotherhood helps them overcome their shortcomings and look at life with a new vision. Know more about it here https://tantranectar.com/deep-tantra-work-for-men/.