Vagina And Penis Anatomy
Just as our bodies tell us what we might like to eat, or when we should rest, they set patterns of lust. Sexuality has a lot to do with our natural system (anatomy). People are hard wired to search out sex. Societal restraints rather than anything anatomical has had the biggest effect on our sexual history. People have fundamentally been the same anatomically for around 100,000 years – so it’s safe to assume if we enjoy it now, then so did our cave abiding ancestors. Sex is perhaps one of the most natural things in the world.
Birds do it, bees do it, and humans have done it since the beginning of time. Sex can lead to having babies, yet it can be pleasurable for the sake of being pleasurable, that it can be a bonding experience between partners of any gender, that it can feel good and also sometimes leave you confused, and most of all that is completely regular and nothing to be ashamed of.
Since it’s such an intrinsic human need, I feel more individuals should be sex positive. The only relevant concerns in regards to a sexual act, practice or experience is the consent, joy and prosperity of the people engaged in it and the people who are affected by it. Sex positivity puts no ethical value on different sexualities or sex acts. It helps us free ourselves from our judgments ad makes room for the diversity of human sexuality.You can be sex-positive and still believe that sex is kind of gross. Sex-positive just means that you’re indifferent with other individuals doing their thing. That is being sex-positive. Unlearning sex-negativity can be hard. There are loads of reasons why people avoid talking about sex, and it can be difficult to overcome them. A great deal of us grew up where sex conversations were very serious/medical talks from adults in our lives. Or perhaps just a joke with friends. There’s not a lot of platforms like that for sincere conversations where you talk about your own sexual wants and needs.
How would you work at developing more sex-positivity for yourself? It can be helpful to think about it as a process. It’s not a new way of being, but an attitude that you are always working on bringing to new situations and interactions as you experience your life. Here are 5 things to do to build the mindset to be more sex positive –
- Converse: Try having frank conversations with your partner, maybe over a walk or dinner. You might surprise yourself how honest conversations can improve your life in bed for the better.
- Play with yourself: Masturbation can be a good way to learn what feels good for your body without involving another person.
- Go slow: Don’t rush into things. There are things you are comfortable and you’re not. If you start exploring sex with your partner, take it at your own place and don’t be forced into doing things you don’t want to do.
- Boundaries and priorities: Talk with your partner about the things you are looking for from sex, what is important to you, etc. This will give more structure to your life in bed as things won’t seem all over the place.
- Prepare for the worst: Talk to your partner about how you are going to tackle issues such as: if you don’t have a condom, if someone loses an erection, someone isn’t in the mood etc. so you aren’t anxious when the situation occurs.
Again, you don’t have to want to do any kind of sexual activity. But being sex-positive means being open and judgment free about the consensual sex that other people have, recognizing it as a positive force in person’s life, rather than a source of shame.
