Everybody knows that every marriage has its own story and journey to travel. Each one is unique, beautiful and different in its own way. As time and seasons pass, the love blooms and the bond deepens further spreading deep, strong roots. But it’s no more a secret that through all of this there are certain good as well as bad phases in everybody’s life. There is a honeymoon period that doesn’t really last long, as this phase slows down what’s least expected is the sex to stop. Scary isn’t it? A period in life where your partners turns his/her back towards sex. It can be really confusing as to why your partner doesn’t want to be intimate with you. So, if you’re wondering what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate, then you’re not alone.
Firstly, lack of sex in a relationship is normal! Levels of sexual desires tend to fluctuate in humans. Just the way the number of times one should have sex is not defined similarly the reason to why your partner does not want to be intimate is not specifically defined either. It can be out of many reasons like work stress, physical exhaustion, mental fatigue, health issues, emotional or physical infidelity etc. Research shows that nearly 52% of men between 40 to 70 experience erectile dysfunctions and hence face some kind of embarrassment by thinking of not being able to satisfy their woman. These thoughts exist in his mind because ofthe so-called manly traits that are inherently there in him, he will stay mum.
So what next? In this case it is the woman who’s worried about what to do when her partner doesn’t want to be intimate, and I always reply with a smile offering them the following tips:
- Break the barriers:
The most important in any relationship is the level of comfort that two people share. If you think that you have an ear to listen then break the barriers of silence and, TALK. Let him share the smallest of problem that is troubling him. Help him take off the mask. Let the wall break. After a good hearty talk, I’m sure you will be able to find a way towards intimacy.
- Cuddle up
Cuddling is a very good way to increase intimacy. Oxytocin is the love hormone in our body and cuddling can definitely activate this hormone. Cuddling restores the balance between thinking and feeling. A little bit of hugging, touching and kissing each other will spark a light in your relationship.
- Start living rather than existing
Once you have had ‘the talk’, take the initiative to indulge in small activities like going on dates, movies, meditate together and have fun with yoga. This will not only benefit your health but also boost your relationship.
- Be yourself
There is no question of faking your emotions to your partner. Show him what you truly are, unleash your powers in front of him and make him/her feel that they are the best you can ever get.
While we are talking about the do’s of when your husband/ boyfriend does not want to get intimate,let’s also keep in mind that the tables can turn the other way around too. I so often come across women who are uninterested and lack sexual desire. Why don’t I want to be intimate with my boyfriend? Is there something wrong with me? Will I never be able to enjoy sex? These are some of the most common questions I hear from them. My answer to all of these questions is a big, NO.
It’s completely human and natural to not feel intimidated by your boyfriend or husband sometimes. Not every time you want to end up making love. Sometimes all a person’s mind, body and soul require is the feeling of warmth, love, belongingness etc. So, relax you simply may not be in the mood or maybe you’re going through a rough day. All you need to do is talk to your partner and reach the truth. Make him understand and feel free to speak about what you want. If this doesn’t work you can try our Tantra Taoist massage, which is specially designed to increase your sensual vitality by refining your awareness and awakening you to the more subtle sensation and energy flow.
Once you feel that your body has started to heal take the baton in your hand and don’t hesitate to make the first move. Rather than jumping into the final act indulge in foreplay. This will help you build up and trigger the sensual energy in you and your partner. It will not only arouse and amp your sex life but will also take you closer to your partner. But for how long should foreplay last? In my opinion foreplay can last for about 15 to 20 minutes. Remember, just like sex foreplay is not about the time it’s about the quality that matters. Take your time, savor every moment that you spend. After a good foreplay when both of the partners are aroused making love will seem more pleasurable. Men often tend to rush in because they feel their erection might just turn off but that’s not the case, being selfish is not really healthy for your relationship. You need to understand and feel what your woman really wants. If she’s ready to make love or not.Be gentle, be smooth, communicate well, use your senses, don’t rush and most importantly have a good time making every moment of this life worth living for your partner and yourself. This is how you make love.
Apart from this if you still feel that your relationship is going a downhill, you can always feel free to speak to me and ask me questions. I also conduct private sessions and coaching for couples, which will help you to clear all your doubts and confusion.